Stigmata #3 (Wednesday)

After my initial joy began to wear off two days after it started a few things became apparent to me. This whole stigmata thing was super impractical. It was so impractical that it began to effect me in ways I never imagined. But i had plans.

1. The blood on my head continuously ran into my eyes, blinding me multiple times a day. But I had a plan.




2. One of my favourite things to do is read. That's a great hobby you may be thinking. But what are books made of? Paper! and paper has the irritating ability to absorb the blood from my hands. But I had a plan.




3. This was more of an annoyance than a problem for me. Due to the blood filling up my shoes i squished when i walked. Sadly I had no plans for this.


Click here for #4.

The Answer to Everything for KC

Through minutes of intensive research of things in my brain, I have narrowed down The Answer to everything, to three possible things:

1. The continuation of the species
2. 42
3. Love

Stigmata #2 (Tuesday)

Previously on Stigmata...

I come down with a serious and seriously non-religious case of stigmata. And. I. Am. Thrilled.



I spent a day acclimating. While in my apartment I blogged about how I was the first atheist to get stigmata. And then, when I went to the store people would part silently to let me walk. It was beautiful, i stood apart. I wouldn't say I was better, but joyously different.

A day later (a Tuesday, if you must know) while out on a walk, letting the world see me, I bumped into Jesse. He was wearing another one of his many many many lolcat themed shirts, I almost made fun of him (like usual), but didn't because he had good news.



Clearly such good news was deserving of a celebratory hand gesture. Before I could ask him any questions about his engagement he beat me with a cryptic and dated question. I would have much preferred a "How are you?"



Our conversation came to an end due to how impressed he was with my stigmata. I could tell he was awed because he was falling to his knees in misguided religious fervor.



To each his own i guess. Maybe I'll catch a movie tomorrow.
Click here for #3.

The Lengths I'll Go To Prove Myself Correct

Christianity is creepy

man the idea of it creeps me out. praying at an image of a dead/dying person. anyways.

Toking Ogre

This made Melanie cry.

paraphrase!
Melanie - Is he saying midnight ogre?
Sean - NO...toker.

Two Eye's or two I's?

Ludwig Stardust

I was reading a blog by The Bitter Buffalo and came across this line "...I cannot tell whose face is on it. I think it's either Ziggy Stardust or Beethoven."

Well that line stayed in my head and i thought to myself, why can't it be both.

That was MY Idea.

I don't mean that was my idea like i always thought you'd get a smoother shave if more than one blade was involved. I mean that was my idea as in i thought it I created it and it was posted to the internet for all to see.

And by internet I don't mean this measly friend-only read blog. By internet I mean a comedy website. Cracked.com, go to google and just type in cracked. Their website will be your first hit.

A few years ago I used to enter their photoshop contests with my microsoft paint pictures. In 2008 they wanted Supervillian Flow Charts. I made this one.



I came in third. Here if you don't believe me, 20 Insane Supervillain Schemes In Flowchart Form


Today while looking at shirts on etsy.com I found this. Posted June 2010



Sure it is more fleshed out and doesn't have my old supervisors face on it, but I still feel like it is my idea presented over two years later. That makes me grumps, which is too bad because I really liked some of their other shirts. If there is one that says I Heart Cephalopods with a cuttlefish on it, I'm going to lose my shit. Thanks a lot nonfiction tees I am going to go have a sad now.

For Katie