Time Travel

Hey.

So I have been thinking about time travel, is it possible, what are the repercussions, paradoxes things like that. But most importantly I've been thinking about how I would look if I had to go back and dress for the times. Anyone who knows me knows I'm a notorious narcissist and so shouldn't be too surprised by my thoughts.

While I'm aiming towards the 50's I decided to leave it up to a vote. We have below a few pictures indicating loosely how I will look. So please vote and I'll keep that in mind when deciding where to go.

1950's


1960's


1970's


1980's


Thanks for the help, 'cause really, looking your best is the most important part of science.

You, My Ass and The Bar

Basically, I am going to vent my irritations with folks in letter format. Sending or not sending them I find it to be rather satisfying.

Dear Angry Woman in Glasses,

Last night I felt we had a moment, in a fit of self deluded, rage filled, entitlement you told me something I had only ever told close friends and family. You blew my mind when you told me that you knew I had a dumb ass. (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in your way all night but that isn’t why I’m writing) The simple fact you knew how much intelligence I held in my booty astounded me while it simultaneously made me feel closer to you. Did it make you feel closer to me? I hope so, because as someone close to you I feel obligated to tell you some things to help improve your character and hopefully your ability to enjoy your life. This is something I want, I really do.

First. Did you know that erotic photo hunt was only a game. I KNOW! It surprised me too the day that I found out. If you are uncertain as to the definition of “game,” don’t worry you can look it up in a dictionary, online, or you could just ask someone if those options prove to be difficult.

Second. The Midway, on certain nights, tends to get quite packed. People are jostling, moving through the crowd. Some are getting drinks, some are dancing and ultimately most of these people will need to use one of the two bathrooms. (hint: this is near the photo hunt game)

Third. When you crowd in the minuscule “hallway” near the bathrooms you are bound to be bumped into. Don’t expect everyone to be apologetic for intruding on your personal space. We too have personal spaces.

Fourth: Your anger doesn’t entitle you to anything. And acting like a d-bag will pretty much bring that behaviour out in others. So here is where I’ll own up and apologizing for putting my elbow in the way of your back. But I didn’t see any other course of action when you were using your angry butch girth to try and squish me into a wall. It was either that or pull your hair, and I find hair pulling to be so unseemly.

Fifth. Just calm down. Deep breaths. Yoga, Something. Maybe take up a soothing hobby.

Just do what you need to do to bring a positive attitude where ever you go. That and be aware of your surroundings and remind yourself you are no more special than anyone else.

I’m so glad we feel close enough to be honest with each other. Thanks. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that this missed connection touches you as you touched me last night.

Sincerely
Just Had to Pee

Amy Nom

jus' 'cause.

Paula + Biden vs Obama = family arguments

Most of you don't know Paula. But the reason for this blog is to have a place to keep all my BS. so:

Thirsty Grizelda?

Dear Jean Hill,

You were splendorific as Grizelda. Your sex scene with Mink Stole was the first time I have ever seen men leave the room while two ladies were getting it on. Bravo. I cheered you killing the evil Mr. Gravel and his rot inducing touch. I welcomed you putting Peggy in her place. I laughed at your makeover. I guffaded at your dialoge. And I kicked my heels at your ability to aclimate with even the worst of surroundings (Mortville)
But most of all I lamented your untimely death. To have a house fall on you as if you were in a different move all together...so very sad.

Jean!? Are you still alive in real life? When ever I try to search for information about you I only get hits for a woman who was near JFK when he was killed. She doesn't look like you, so I'm guessing you are just two people, two people with the same name. So I'm stuck, not knowing if you are alive. Only having three movies to see you in. And really Grizelda was your shining part. A supporting part, none of this "extra" crap.

So Desperate Living all i have is some delightful quotes:

Peggy: Go ahead, feel her up! Just like you did to me! Find em, feel em, fuck em, forget em... is THAT your new motto?
Grizelda: Zip that gaping hole of a mouth up, Peggy, before I plug it up with my fist.
Peggy: You're just like all the rest of the common dykes in this town!

Grizelda:“I am sick of listenin’ to your bitchin’. The next time you feel a fit comin’ on, go outside and bitch. Bitch at the air. Bitch at the trees. But don’t bitch at us!”

Grizelda: We killed your husband, and I ain't your maid any more, bitch! I'm yo sister in crime!

Honestly John Waters, we need more Jean Hill. But she was in A Dirty SHame, you'll say. That wasn't a part. Not a part at all John. on that note, you're not writing Mink Stole very well anymore, but that's another blog.... So come on give me more Jean



More. More Jean


John. John, more Jean, Please.

Love Child

So most soon to be parents really want to know what their baby will look like. Why? I'm not sure. What I am sure of is that knowing months ahead of time that you are going to have an ugly baby will ruin the miracle of birth.

That said, there are many websites (note: I am not sure that this is true) that will give you an idea of whether your bundle of joy will make people gasp with cuteness or horror. one of these sights is http://makemebabies.com. I'd like to point out here and now that I'm not sure how it works because I uploaded two ugly dogs (literally) and they came out with a human, albeit ugly, baby.

Munchkin & Sam



See human looking....


Now the reason for this post is for the baby that Salim and I will be having. I don't know if it is because Salim looks like a zombie, as mentioned in a previous post but....





Here it she is with minor edits.....

Munchkin

So many of you, Amy most of all, think Munchkin is hideous. One friend went so far as to refer to her as a creepy cat thing.

Well after months of looking at her as my work computer background I have decided that she is ugly/cute and after reading her "bio" i heart her even more. [the bio is below the pictures]

Go Munchkin!!!!!

A lovely side view for you



here we have Munchkins most unnatractive photo which i think looks like Salvador Dali:



see i went so far as to submit the comparison to a website.


see more famous faces look-a-likes


Here we have the "cute" picture I have grown to love:


And finally what she would look like with a little trim:



http://www.ugliestdogs.net/WorldsUgliestDog2.html

"Munchkin is approximately 8 years old. Her dog breed is affectionately known as a “Canardly” (as in “you can hardly tell). She
could be part affenpinscher (monkey face) terrier but her vet is convinced she is a “one of a kind” unique dog.

I saw Munchkin’s photo in 2004 on Pets Unlimited website and laughed. Anything that tickled my tummy so much has to come
home with me. I drove to San Francisco and Paulie, the adoption counselor, took me to meet Munchkin. When she waddled &
snorted her way from underneath the adoption counselor desk, tears of joy welled up. She was identical to my previous 6-time
Worlds Ugliest dog, Nana; only 15 lbs. heavier!!! I sat on the floor and she leaned against me, looking up at me with her soulful
eyes, & rolled over for me to scratch her tummy. We bonded immediately and it was if she was asking “what took you so long to
find me?” Paulie noticed it was an obvious love connection and offered an “on sale” price of $75, a substantial reduction from the
regular adoption price (little did he know, I would have happily paid any price). Munchkin had been rescued from another animal
shelter just in time and had been at Pets Unlimited for 8 months with no interest by potential adopters. Pets Unlimited is located
in the heart of San Francisco’s hills among the Victorian homes. Pets Unlimited places poster size photos of available pets in the
large windows facing the busy street. As months went by, no one came for Munchkin until I came along. Why someone couldn’t
see her beauty & charm is beyond me.

Dogs like Munchkin don’t come around that often. She is special not just for her looks – but her personality which really shines
beneath all of those extra pounds. Visually she grabs you by the eyes, but emotionally she gets right into your heart with a sweet
kiss on the face or rolling over for a belly rub. As a pet therapy volunteer, Munchkin has helped so many people heal and find
comfort – whether she’s visiting a hospital for children, who giggle in delight when they see her or at a nursing home, making each
day brighter for a lucky resident, Munchkin was meant to be in the spotlight. Although she remained in a shelter for many, many
months, ignored and shown pity by those who visited, her new life has given Munchkin a better purpose in life – to make people
smile everywhere she goes. Her rags to riches story is truly a lesson for us all to never judge a book by its cover.

The reactions when people first encounter Munchkin vary. Because she snorts when she walks, and the hair on her back is short
& wiry, people ask, “what is that pig doing here?” Other people refer to Munchkin as a relative of Don King (boxing promoter) or
Cruella De Vil (from 101 Dalmatians) because her hair around her head & neck is very long, mostly gray, and stands straight up
without any “product” assistance."

Refuse vs Refuse

Ok kids, i'm going to clear up some confusion. We all know the English language is difficult sucks. Some words are spelt the same but sound different, or sound the same but are spelt different. Come ON! Today lets look at Refuse.

re·fuse:
–verb (used with object)
to decline to accept; to decline to give; deny.

ref·use:
–noun
something that is discarded as worthless or useless; rubbish; trash; garbage.





Make sense? If not you can message me.

I was bored

After a conversation with Amy I decided to make this

Batman Stuff

So occasionally I like to microsoft paint up some pictures for photoshop contests.
What's that?
Yeah I know that microsoft paint isn't photoshop at all and I don't care.

So this week was Everyday Items Batman would have. Why not.



and