You, My Ass and The Bar

Basically, I am going to vent my irritations with folks in letter format. Sending or not sending them I find it to be rather satisfying.

Dear Angry Woman in Glasses,

Last night I felt we had a moment, in a fit of self deluded, rage filled, entitlement you told me something I had only ever told close friends and family. You blew my mind when you told me that you knew I had a dumb ass. (I’m pretty sure it wasn’t in your way all night but that isn’t why I’m writing) The simple fact you knew how much intelligence I held in my booty astounded me while it simultaneously made me feel closer to you. Did it make you feel closer to me? I hope so, because as someone close to you I feel obligated to tell you some things to help improve your character and hopefully your ability to enjoy your life. This is something I want, I really do.

First. Did you know that erotic photo hunt was only a game. I KNOW! It surprised me too the day that I found out. If you are uncertain as to the definition of “game,” don’t worry you can look it up in a dictionary, online, or you could just ask someone if those options prove to be difficult.

Second. The Midway, on certain nights, tends to get quite packed. People are jostling, moving through the crowd. Some are getting drinks, some are dancing and ultimately most of these people will need to use one of the two bathrooms. (hint: this is near the photo hunt game)

Third. When you crowd in the minuscule “hallway” near the bathrooms you are bound to be bumped into. Don’t expect everyone to be apologetic for intruding on your personal space. We too have personal spaces.

Fourth: Your anger doesn’t entitle you to anything. And acting like a d-bag will pretty much bring that behaviour out in others. So here is where I’ll own up and apologizing for putting my elbow in the way of your back. But I didn’t see any other course of action when you were using your angry butch girth to try and squish me into a wall. It was either that or pull your hair, and I find hair pulling to be so unseemly.

Fifth. Just calm down. Deep breaths. Yoga, Something. Maybe take up a soothing hobby.

Just do what you need to do to bring a positive attitude where ever you go. That and be aware of your surroundings and remind yourself you are no more special than anyone else.

I’m so glad we feel close enough to be honest with each other. Thanks. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and that this missed connection touches you as you touched me last night.

Sincerely
Just Had to Pee