Stigmata #8

As we all know the cause of my stigmata is magical in nature so there is nothing a medical doctor can do. I decided that seeing a therapist may help me deal with the repercussions of my stigmata. There are certain times that utilizing the internet for more than comedy websites and bootleg movies would be in my best interest. Checking for reviews of certain asshat therapists would have been one of them. You want to know what the "clever" bastard had to ask me?

"How are you dealing with the stigma of your stigmata?"

Oh a fucking pun. I'm bleeding on everything, I've ruined almost all of my clothes and furniture, I'm passing out everywhere and I've lost all my friends because the reasons I just listed and he makes a pun.

I'm contemplating covering everything in my apartment in plastic, but I don't know how existing in an episode of Dexter will help anything.

I have a serious and seriously non religious case of stigmata and I am miserable.

Stigmata #7

After passing out at the baby shower i woke up in my apartment. There was a note near me suggesting that I buy bandages. So I headed to a pharmacy. One thing I found out is that if you have stigmata do NOT keep your money in your pocket. But money is money, legal tender and all that.








Click here for the final comic

Stigmata #6 (Saturday)

As of Saturday it had been almost a week and it was becoming rapidly apparent to me that one of the bigger issues I was facing was blood loss. I was fired via email this morning for issues at work.



Then, on my way to a baby shower I woke up at Forest Hills. Considering I board the train further down the line this means I must have ridden the train from one end to the other.



While I have no recollection of this, I am told that I passed out once I got to the shower. Apparently I started to say, "Congratulations," but never finished the word.


Click here for #7.

Stigmata #5 (Friday)

Do you know what does not work when you have stigmata? MEETING WOMEN! You want to know why?

This fucking face. That's why.


Clickhere for #6.

Stigmata #4 (Thursday)

Things were not improving for me. I was beginning to worry my friends didn't want to spend time with me.

I was invited to my friend Paul's birthday party. I arrived, on time, feeling rather subdued, but i put on my game face. I had my goggles on and what was previously my nicest shirt. I went to give hugs but my friends and acquaintances all started pushing each other until my former roommate, Daniel, was forced woodenly into my arms. It was one of the worst hugs ever.



Then I tried again to be cheerful and offered the beer I had brought.



I was beginning to feel very awkward so I made up some excuse to leave early.


Click here for #5.

Stigmata #3 (Wednesday)

After my initial joy began to wear off two days after it started a few things became apparent to me. This whole stigmata thing was super impractical. It was so impractical that it began to effect me in ways I never imagined. But i had plans.

1. The blood on my head continuously ran into my eyes, blinding me multiple times a day. But I had a plan.




2. One of my favourite things to do is read. That's a great hobby you may be thinking. But what are books made of? Paper! and paper has the irritating ability to absorb the blood from my hands. But I had a plan.




3. This was more of an annoyance than a problem for me. Due to the blood filling up my shoes i squished when i walked. Sadly I had no plans for this.


Click here for #4.

Stigmata #2 (Tuesday)

Previously on Stigmata...

I come down with a serious and seriously non-religious case of stigmata. And. I. Am. Thrilled.



I spent a day acclimating. While in my apartment I blogged about how I was the first atheist to get stigmata. And then, when I went to the store people would part silently to let me walk. It was beautiful, i stood apart. I wouldn't say I was better, but joyously different.

A day later (a Tuesday, if you must know) while out on a walk, letting the world see me, I bumped into Jesse. He was wearing another one of his many many many lolcat themed shirts, I almost made fun of him (like usual), but didn't because he had good news.



Clearly such good news was deserving of a celebratory hand gesture. Before I could ask him any questions about his engagement he beat me with a cryptic and dated question. I would have much preferred a "How are you?"



Our conversation came to an end due to how impressed he was with my stigmata. I could tell he was awed because he was falling to his knees in misguided religious fervor.



To each his own i guess. Maybe I'll catch a movie tomorrow.
Click here for #3.

Stigmata #1

For years I have been plagued by stigmata. Mostly by how it would realistically effect your life. So that is basically what this is. I, thus far, have 7 strips planned.

Just thought I would explain this to my two three readers. But then I guess you could just text me if you had any questions.



Stigmata #1


Click here for #2.